The test is the real cause
by gueststar123
Summary: A Pokémon journey, how original. I found a story called "The gratest pokemon master" and decided to make a story based on it. Rated M for future swearing, sexual content and gore (PM me if you think I should lower it).
1. The beginning

**Authour's note: Hello everyone and welcome to "The test is the real cause"! In case you really never thought about it, our dear xxRubyjanetxx has given me permission to write this story! Hooray!**

**To be honest, I'm just writing this because I need to work on my writing skills (I'm a reaaaaally slow typer) and I got a bit tired of playing nuzlocke emerald over and over again. Er, I never watched the anime recently but I have seen the movies. Wait, why would you care about my experiences? Let us get on with the story already!**

**EDIT: Well, seemed like I screwed up and thought parody meant "mock-up". Oh well! At least future readers will have no idea what I'm talking about.**

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The day started with the most typical way. The sun was shining, bird Pokémon were singing, the wind blew gently and a very sleepy teen covered her face with a pillow. In case you haven't figured out, that teen was me.

My neck started to ache from lack of support so I had to put the pillow back in its place. Once again, I was greeted by the shining rays of the sun and I tried another tactic, covering my eyes with my arms. I cursed how I forgot to draw the curtains yesterday night and secretly wished that I had the power to turn day into night.

I realized that there was no way I could back to sleep, so I groaned and forced myself to get up. When I sat at the edge of the bed, my foot touched a cardboard box. I stared at it confused before my brain gently reminded my parent's favor. Before I could go on a Pokémon journey, I had to give away some of my old stuff, things I didn't need now that I was a big girl.

My body had the urge to fall on the bed again but I resisted and managed to do my daily things at a Slowpoke's pace. Went to the bathroom, got dressed (wearing my favorite green tank top) and finally going downstairs to get some breakfast.

Normally, my mother would be watching TV at her favorite chair or reading the news while my father could be either accompanying my mother or baking his famous pancakes. My father surprised my mother three days ago, by inviting her to go on a second honeymoon. After much debating, they decided that maybe I needed to learn a bit about responsibility of being alone and went off to their vacation.

If you ask me, everything has been going smoothly so far. And I haven't done anything embarrassing yet! That is, if you don't count the time I accidently dropped a plate and broke it because the cooking oil was oozing all over the floor. At least I cleaned that up, right?

I put the bread in the toaster, waiting patiently for it to pop up. After several minutes, the bread came out with a golden brown look (a little burnt-black around the edges). Satisfied, I expertly put it on my plate with a knife (a little trick I learned so I didn't have to burn my hands). I set it down on the table and took out the butter from the fridge. After settling down, I took the knife and began to put the butter on the bread.

I grinned a little. I loved butter and I couldn't help putting a lot on anything I could get my hands on. Thank goodness there was no one around to give me the stink eye!

As I munched on my breakfast, I watched the golden dust dance around in the light. My mind wandered off and I started to think about today. Due to several accidents ten year olds had with their Pokémon, the government decided that maybe it was best to raise the age bar a bit. Nowadays, you could get a pocket monster of your own by the age of fourteen.

I was fifteen now and that really sucked for me. My parents didn't allow me to go catch a wild Pokémon so I had to rely on the nearby lab. They gave away "domesticated" Pokémon but the problem was that they only gave at least three, or rarely four, and in case you didn't get one, you were put on a waiting list. I could have given up a year ago but in my heart, I knew I just had to be patient and have hope.

I went upstairs and went to the bathroom, just to brush my teeth and making sure that I looked presentable. After making sure that everything was fine, I went back to my room. My eyes wandered through it. Seeing this so bare somehow made my heart ache. I kneeled down and peeked into one of the boxes. I could see my rolled-up poster of a once popular kids TV show called "Pidgey and Pachirisu", two best friends who went on wacky adventures. I even had the customize plushies of them!

For the last time, I picked up the toys and hugged close to my chest. Jeeze, I didn't even get out of my house yet and I'm getting sentimental! After pretending that they were alive and making them promise to make other kids happy, I put my precious childhood memories back into the box.

After checking that everything was in order, I opened my closet and pulled out my travelling gear. Only Legendaries know how many times I checked and re-checked the bag to make everything was there. Even when putting it on my back, I worried that I had too much stuff.

I headed downstairs, wrote a quick letter goodbye to my parents and placed it on the table where they could see it. When I was outside, I took a deep breath. My teacher once told that Pallet Town was once really small place, only having a couple of houses. After the rise of the champion who came from here, more people settled in. The teacher even said that it was a miracle that the town still smelled like nature, the forest and stuff. I honestly have no clue what he meant, but I suppose that it was a good thing.

I locked the door behind me and hid the key under a false rock. I placed my hands around my hips and I swelled my chest.

"Look out world, Emerald Great is coming your way!" I spoke out loud, trying to look and be confident.

"The world is going have to wait of you don't get to the lab in time." A voice said, startling me completely. I turned my head to the source and there was Peter, the mail carrier, wearing his regular navy-blue uniform, who rides his bike and delivers letters to all residences in Pallet Town. He looked at his watch. "In fact, you have about fifteen minutes."

"What?!" I was sure that I had everything ready early! Maybe I shouldn't toyed around so much… I started to run down the street then I realized Peter was behind me.

"Aah, thank you Peter!" I shouted at him, my legs running in place, I turned around and sprinted towards lab. I think I heard him yelling good luck at me. By the time I got there, my face was red all over and I was gasping for breath.

"Emerald!" I heard someone calling me. I raised my head and saw that it was my best friend Beckie. She was a year younger than me and one of the reasons why I still waited to get my Pokémon. She came over to me and offered a hand. "You're just in time! Come on, the professor is about to start his speech!"

I nodded, grateful for her help. She dragged me along until we were inside the lab. A group of kids, (possibly ten of them?) were all murmuring to each other, all nervous and excited. Who would get picked this time?

"Look who's finally here!" I heard someone say by my side, practically making me jump on the spot. When I heard that mocking tone, I could have guessed easily who it was. I turned around and found myself face-to-face with Renard Oak. Urgh, I just wanted to disappear right now. I prayed that he won't start another 'My ancestors were the coolest, so that makes me automatically cool, yadda, yadda, yadda.' speech. I just knew he was going to grate my nerves anyway.

"Why are you carrying that bag? Going out to pretend that you're a homeless when you find out you don't get a Pokémon?" He said, his pointed sneering nose up high in the air. He spread out his hands, as if he was shoving something invisibly disgusting. He looked at me with his mocking grin and I tried to pretend that didn't bother me at all. "You look the part, with that weird hair and that shirt makes you look like a Skuntank!"

Oh no. Oh _hell _no. He did not just insult my favorite clothing. I could take a comment on my dyed green hair, but he did just went too far this time. I gritted my teeth and prepared my best insult. "This little _skuntank _is going to pummel your ass, right now, to ground and make you beg for mercy you little-"

Beckie grabbed my arm and pulled me back. She shook her head. I pulled my arm away but she wouldn't let go of her grip. I protested but my best friend tilted her at one direction. I looked up and that the professor was giving me a disapproving look and his arms were crossed. I looked down in shame and slinked away from Renard. One of these days, he was going to pay. The professor cleared his throat and delivered his speech:

"Now that little ordeal is over, I would like to have your attention, please. Thank you all for coming. As you all know, a journey with Pokémon is full of wonders and lessons that the world can offer. Normally, I would continue on about this but some students' attention seem to drift off. Isn't that right Keith?"

That earned a chuckle from the crowd. I covered my mouth to muffle a giggle. Keith can be a good student but most of the times he acts like a complete aloof! I heard him mumbling something, apologizing to the professor. His nearby friends elbowed him and laughed.

"Now, let's not get carried away." The professor said, continuing off where he left. "It's time to select our lucky future trainers!"

As the adult picked up a clipboard, my best friend and I grabbed each other's hand and whispered good luck to each other. My legs were starting to ache from standing up so long and having to carry a heavy load.

"Renard Oak!" the professor called out. I repressed a groan. There were a couple of kids who patted his back but I could tell there were some glares in his general direction.

"Keith Ashley!" At the sound of his name, everyone clapped for him. He was slightly older than me and thus fore, waited a much longer time than me. I felt happy for Keith and I clapped with one palm as loud as I could.

"And finally…" the professor paused for dramatic effect. He looked among the group of children and I saw his eyes landing on me. I squeezed my best friend's hand harder.

"Emerald Great!"

I couldn't believe, I was completely and honestly shocked. My best friend squealed and hugged me tightly. After my mind registering the truth, I hugged her back and we started to jump around in circles.

"What are you waiting for, go!" she encouraged, laughing and pushing me off. I nodded once again with gratitude and turned around, facing the professor. I could spy from the corner of my eye that Renard was looking at me furiously. I grinned like a maniac and went up to the professor, waiting for further instructions.

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**More author notes: Phew, hope that was good enough! I hope that everyone enjoyed reading this and if you feel like it, review please!**


	2. I choose you

**Author's note: Hello and welcome back everyone! Thank you for pointing out the errors I made and Dark Brother 16, I'll try to bear that advice in mind. If it happened again in this one, please don't shoot my head (did you do a meat pun by accident there?)! **

**On with the show!**

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"Now, will our lucky selected trainers please follow my assistant?" The professor said, indicating us to a young woman with long black. I've seen her before, from previous trials. I think her name was Juanita… ack! I should really learn how to remember last names clearly so I won't have to bump into weird situations like this. She didn't say anything (thank Arceus) and just signaled us to follow her towards the end of the room.

As we went, I could still hear the professor behind me explaining to the others how they had to sign up again for the next pick-outs. I felt a bit of pity for my best friend and secretly prayed that her turn would come soon so we could travel together. Maybe we could do the Senior and Junior trainers acts!

I felt Beautiflys in my stomach. What was going to happen when I step out of these walls?I did go camping with my family so I could say I was sort of an expert in the outside. But… was I ready to train a monster of my own? The prospect seemed so exciting at first but I'm starting to doubt myself.

The room we were in was rather spacious and there was a corner hidden behind green curtains. Juanita lead us there, told us to stay put and disappeared behind them with a _whish_! I heard nails tapping against a metal surface and my curiosity peaked. The I heard a drilling sound and I couldn't help questioning the credibility of this whole scene.

I finally set down my heavy backpack against the wall. I massaged my sore shoulders and then kneeled down to take my cell phone from the bag. I checked to see if I had any messages, particularly from Mom and Dad. Hmm, nothing. Well, that was expected, my usual message tone didn't go off. It would be slightly embarrassing if it did.

"Hey Emerald." Keith called out to me, drawing my attention. "Have you thought what Pokémon you're going to pick?"

I mulled for a few seconds before answering him. "Well, I thought of getting the… whatever Fire-type starter they have. 'Cause they're pretty useful when you're outdoors and pretty cool too."

It wasn't a good thought-out explanation, but Keith seemed to accept my reasoning. That or he's nodding his head off by the sheer boredom my words created. That didn't bother me much but what did was hearing that stupid sniggering coming from Renard.

"What's so funny?!"

He obviously didn't find my growl menacing. He sniggered more (like a little shit he was) and talked to me like I had an IQ of a shovel.

"What, you were too focused on your trashy clothes that you forgot to read the list of starters on the billboard? You know, the one that's in front of the entrance in PLAIN view?"

You have no idea the sheer amount of willpower I had to use to not smack that grin off his face. Still, a part of me felt ashamed how I managed to look over that vital piece of information. I didn't even consider casting a glance before the trials! I could feel the Beautiflies in my stomach somersaulting now. I pulled out my best poker face so Renard didn't see the anxiety he caused.

Before I could make my sassy comeback, the professor entered the room. I winced when the door swung back and banged against the wall. He walked briskly towards the corner we were in, shouted to Juanita, asking her if she was ready and ignored us completely. Rude!

The curtains swung and lo and behold, there was a Juanita standing next to a weird machine. I noticed that her hands seemed to be stained black. As for the device, it was cube like with a small glass dome on top. I stood on my toes to get a better of the dome and I could swear I saw four red splotches.

"The machine is fully operational, professor." Juanita informed him.

"Ah, excellent!" he said, clasping his hands together. He turned towards us with a huge smile. "Now we come to my favorite part! You can now choose your very first Pokémon. Just remember that after picking, you need to perform one more test, alright?"

Woah, what?! I thought we were done with the testing part! Nobody told me about this or told me to study anything extra! What if I fail?!

I cast glance at the boys to see how they would react. Keith held a super-serious expression and Renard, for a second, seemed to share the same panic as me before he caught my eye and flashed a confident grin. I looked away with my nose up in the air.

The professor laughed and told us not to worry so much about it. He went to the machine and pressed a button, opening up the dome. Inside were four Pokéballs, each marked with a different symbol: a blue drop of water, a red flame, a green leaf and a yellow lightning bolt.

"Renard? You may pick first, considering that you're on the top of the list." The professor, earning an "Alright!" as an answer. Renard went closer to the used-to-be-dome. He leaned in and scratched his chin (wise ass).

"This one!" he said, swiping the pokéball with the water drop symbol. That left a bitter taste in my mouth. Did he purposely choose that one so he had a type advantage over me? Pff, it takes more than that to screw me over!

"Keith?"

The boy nodded in response to his name and went over to the machine. He stood and observed each pokéball carefully. After a full minute passed (I think he fell asleep again), he grabbed the ball with the green leaf and stepped back.

"It's your turn now Emerald."

"Yeah..." I said and walked over to the machine. My hand hovered over the pokéball with flame symbol when my mind had a sudden epiphany. Why did I have to play fair? Renard purposely chose that Pokémon because he knew of my intentions. Now that he already chosen his Pokémon and I currently had two choices left… I clutched the pokéball with lightining symbol.

"That's cheating!" I got caught by surprise by Renard's sudden yelling. "Professor, you can't make her take that one!"

"Renard, be a good sport! If Emerald wants to have that Pokémon, then she can have it. You do want it, correct?" the professor spoke and turned to me when he questioned. He saw me nod and then addressed to all of us. "If there aren't any more doubts from the trainers themselves, we can start the test."

The Beautiflies started to somersault again. I bit my lower lip and went to the center of the room when the professor told us to release our Pokémon. My hand felt a bit shaky and I was afraid that I would drop the ball by accident. I felt weight on my shoulder and saw that it was Keith. He gave me a small smile and mouthed something, holding up three fingers. I got the message and waited for his fingers to curl up into a fist.

We released our monsters at the same time. The red lazers materialized into three beings.

"Squirt!"

"Wiiig."

"Eeeee-molga!"

I took a good look at mine. The first thing I noticed about it were the large, black and round ears it had and the yellow (on the inside) and black (the out) cape that was attached to its arms and body. The face reminded me of Pachirisu, two big black eyes, yellow cheeks and a tiny nose. Lastly, I noticed the black tail was jagged-shaped.

As for the boy's Pokémon, I noticed that both had shells. While Renard's was bipedal, had blue skin and a red shell, Keith's walked on all fours, the shell brown and the rest green with a tiny twinleaf on top of its head.

"Trainers, these are Squirtle, Turtwig and Emolga, partners for your epic journey." The professor said, drawing the attention from all of us. He pressed another button on the machine and a tray popped out. He took whatever was on top of it and went towards us.

"What I have here are Pokémon treats, Pokétreats if you will." He put a couple of pink and yellow lumps in my hand. I brought the close to my nose. It didn't particularly smell like anything. "You shall feed it to your respective Pokémon, bonding with them. Do understand the task now?"

I murmured in agreement, holding the food away from my face.

"I would also appreciate if no one used _colorful_ language."

I bowed my head again. Jeeze, no need to remind me. I sighed inwardly. Alright, let the little guy eat the totally-not-candy treat. Don't panic, it's not like it's going to eat my fac- OH MEW IT'S ATTACKING MY FACE!

As I stood paralyzed in fear, the little bugger scrambled all over my head before settling into my arms and stuffing its face with treats. The tail slapped against my nose and I almost opened my arms to let the Emolga drop. Luckily, it decided to swoop down and eat the rest of its snacks on the ground.

My arms fell to my sides and it took a minute or two to recover from my shock. I breathed in and out… in and out… in and out… okay, done being a sissy! Time to show this bugger who's in charge here!

I kneeled beside it. The cracking sound of my knees seemed to caught its attention and it stared at me (probably hoping that I had more treats for it). I stretched my hand out, letting Emolga sniff it. "Hey there little bugger-"

As I said that, I tried to pet its head only to get a bit of shock. Pain seared through my hand and subsided into numbness (although I felt something like needles pricking the tip of my fingers). I rolled into my back, clutching my useless hand.

"Mother f-fu-fudging sprinkles!" I tried to not curse but damn, that hurt like a bitch! My Pokémon ran to my side, repeating its name like an ambulance and I saw two silhouettes above me. One of them pried my usable hand off and began to massage the shocked one. Another hand lifted my head and my vision started to clear.

"Are you alright?"

I felt my shoulders aching with pain. I felt grateful that I didn't land head-first. I blinked at least a hundred times before mumbling that I was okay. Slowly, I could feel what was rubbing my hand. Something rubbery and creamy. Oh, Juanita is massaging my hand.

Both experts then helped me unto my feet. I have to admit that for a split second, I felt like royalty being treated like this. The damned damsel being rescued by her fellow knights. Wow, when did I get this cheesy?

I had to reassure my Pokémon that I was fine (it gets tiring hearing the same thing over and over again) and made it promise to not shock me again. At least on purpose.

The Emolga flew to my shoulder (okay, I admit, I twitched a bit), settled on my shoulder and nuzzled on my face. Holding my breath, I didn't dare to pet him, I didn't want another useless (temporary) hand. Thankfully, I only felt soft fur instead of another shock.

…Bond complete? That was… something. If I ever get hurt like this again, I'm quitting this business. Note to self, buy a complete rubber suit and avoid minimal damage. Stay the fuck AWAY from water if Emolga is out.

"Well, that was quite the experience. Hope everyone is comfortable with their Pokémon?" said the professor. I nodded and checked to see how the boys were doing. I saw that Keith had his Turtwig cradled in his arms and Renard's… was it doing poses?

"No, you gotta put more 'oomph!' in it!" he encouraged his Squirtle, demonstrating what he meant by spreading his legs apart and putting his fists up in the air.

I think he was taking this "trainer" thing a bit too seriously.

The professor laughed. "It's nice to see different types of bonding experience. Now, I would to all listen once again! All that is left to do is to sign a couple of papers and get your very own Pokédex!"

I groaned inwardly. Great, more stuff with paper and pen. I swear, there wasn't a day that passed that I had to force my hands to touch that stuff. I knew that these devices were precious (and pretty expensive to repair, a whopping 50,000 pokédollars!) and precaution was needed. But Arceus damnit, couldn't the adults keep the business to themselves?!

Finally, after all the waiting, blathering, shocking and boredom, I was free to go! I couldn't help shouting "See ya, suckas!" on my way out because I was probably the only one with their travelling pack ready.

"You know something, Emolga?" I asked my fuzzy patner who was now resting on my head. "I should give you a nickname. So I don't confuse with others, ya know?"

The Emolga squeaked (possibly agreeing with me?). As I walked towards the exit of the town, the cogwheels in my brain spun fast. The first thing I did was to check my new Pokédex. After fiddling around with the device, I found out that my Pokémon was female.

I briefly considered calling her Little Bugger, but that didn't seem appropriate for an electric-type. Maybe a mix of Pachirisu's name? Nah, that's stupid. Hmm, maybe I could just use one letter…

"What do you think of Pem?"

She alternated between squeaking and repeating her name. She wasn't hitting or me or showing any aggressive behavior, so I guessed that she liked it.

As soon as I reached the tall grass, I felt a drop of water touch my cheek and I looked up to see the sky covered in gray clouds. Remembering my vow, I recalled Pem back into her Pokéball. I set down my backpack to take out my umbrella.

It's at the bottom, buried underneath of all the junk.

Fudge sprinkles.

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**Author's note: Phew, that took a while! I'm sort of satisfied with the result but I get the feeling that I failed my "concise" objective. :( By the by, thank you for reading this!**

**Ohh, one more thing! Shiny Magikarp, yay or nay?**


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